Mankind Pulls Through Again. How Do We Do It?
This article is for information only and doesn’t call for any action.
Last night we watched Pacific Rim, a great movie, about monstrously big aliens invading through the ocean floor battling giant robots. Does a great movie need any more than that?
Anyway, the aliens come through the ocean floor because… Well, I’m not sure why they come through the ocean floor, but they do. And they are big, mean, lizard looking things, not regular lizards, more like a diabolically designed alien lizard with a neon light kit.,Plus, they have one of those alien sound generators, that make the low pitched, undulating, creepy hum. A noise that is very popular with alien invaders.
When the lighted, alien lizards first start showing up they smash up cities and destroy buildings and just make a real mess of things. Danged lighted, alien lizards anyway. Our puny, conventional Earth weapons are of no use against them, which really did not surprise anyone. We all kind of saw that coming, but we had to try, right?
Don’t worry, mankind leaps quickly into action and builds a series of giant robots, and call them Jaegers, (because it reminds them of the tasty alcohol of their youth) to smash things up, too. It doesn’t take to long until robots and giant lizards are using each other to smash things up all over the place. Stomping around, throwing each other through buildings and onto parking structures, it is a real dance of destruction, and we start to get the upper hand, maybe, for a while.
Cities are reduced to rubble, people are forced to flee, on foot, because cars are always the first casualty of alien invasions. I think they know about our love affair with the automobile, and do it just to hurt us, alien invading bastards, anyway.
Soon, though, the aliens start adding new accessories right at the factory, claws, and hooks and electromagnetic pulse generators, and little coolers big enough for a six pack of beer, soda pop, blue tooth stereos, and power windows… oops, that was something that I saw at the auto show last year. And they begin to gain an advantage. The fighting intensifies, things look bleak. Vegas puts the odds at 6 to 2 aliens, and people are jumping on that action. Fools! Never bet against Hollywood robots
The governments of the world decided this might not be a good idea, robots, and lizards performing mixed martial arts all over the worlds population centers, and as governments have so often done in the past decided to build a wall. Which doesn’t work very well, it never does, does it? But, we had to try right?
Don’t worry, though, we send a few brave souls in the last remaining giant robots down to the bottom of the ocean, through the opening, and into the giant alien lizard world (and we become the alien invaders, what a plot twist) where they detonate a “nuclear device,” closing the path to the aliens, and, if I might add putting a little human foot to giant alien lizard butt.
They manage to escape in little bitty life pods, (that look remarkably like a Tic Tac breath mint (this statement was bought to you to them by the good people at the Tic Tac Breath Mint Conglomeration (don’t you wish you had a tic tac now?))) back through the rapidly disintegrating gateway, up through miles of ocean, and against all odds of survival, they survive.
Whew, that was close!
Originally published on Life, Explained
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April 17, 2019 at 01:35PM